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Virtual Vineyard Read the Dvar on Tu B'Av below. The shidduch service listed are NOT affiliated with Kallahmagazine.com, so Kallah Magazine and Write Way Productions cannot be held responsible for their representation.

Shidduch Inspiration : THE RIDDLE OF TU B'AV by Rabbi Chaim Brown

Av is a month of perplexing paradox. Marked by days of mourning surrounding the tragedy of Tisha B'Av, what may rightfully be called the saddest day of the Jewish year, Av is also marked a mere one week later by a celebration described by Chazal as one of the happiest days of the Jewish year. The date first became a day of celebration during the last year of Bnai Yisrael's forty years in the desert. Since the decree of death for the entire generation of the meraglim, the men who achieved the age determined for their demise would lie down in their graves every Tisha B'Av. In the final year, they did the same, but were surprised to find themselves alive the next morning. They thought they may have miscalculated and so returned to lie in their graves the next night and the susequent nights until they saw the full moon that indicates the midpoint of the Jewish month and realized that they had passed the critical time and been spared by Hashem. From then on, the fifteenth of the month of Av was a day of celebration and joy. "Lo hayu yamim tovim l'yisrael k'Tu b'Av v"Yom haKippurim" (Ta'anis 26) - "There were no more joyous days than the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur". You won't find it mentioned in the Torah, you probably won't take a day off from work to celebrate, but this almost unmarked holiday of Tu b'Av manages to tilt our entire perspective on Av from sadness back to joy.

Chazal teach us that on Tu b'Av the prospective brides of Yerushalayim would go out and dance in the vineyards, dressed in white dresses each had borrowed from one another to be selected as wives by the bachurim in attendance.

The significance of the celebration of Tu b'Av can be appreciated precisely in the context of our mourning for the destruction of the Bais haMikdash in the first half of the month of Av. "Whoever rejoices with a bride and groom has rebuilt one of the streets of Yerushalayim", Chazal tell us. As we leave the post-Tisha b'Av week, which parallels perhaps the seven days of mourning over a relative, we begin the process of rebuilding through the marriage of new chassanim and kallos, which is part of the ultimate rebuikding of Yerushalayim. R' Tzaddok haKohen cites the Psikta, which writes that the eventual rebuilding of the third Bais HaMikdash will occur exactly on the 15th day of Av.

Perhaps in this light we can understand the custom of the women of Yerushalyim to lend each other dresses to court their chassanim. The Torah (Shmos 26:3) describes how the pieces of tapestry of the Mishkan were joined "isha el achosa", literally, each "women to her sister." The chessed of joining together to help a neighbor is the very bond that holds together the Mikdash. The Maharal writes that the entire purpose of the Mikdash was to unify klal yisrael, highlighted by the three regalim where every single person journeyed to Yerushalayim to be together. Sharing and chessed are the "hechsher mitzva" to a successful shidduch, and to rebuilding the unity of klal Yisrael.

This message is underscored by the Gemara's juxtaposition of the story of the women of Yerushalayim going to the vineyards to dance on Tu b'Av with the promise that one day Hashem will make a circle around which all the tzadikim will dance. Interestingly, if we count TU=15 letters into the Aleph-Bais (or "AV"), we come to the only completely round letter, the letter samech. The Braysa Osiyos d'Rabbi Akiva teaches that the inner part of the letter samech represents the mishkan and mikdash, and the outer part is camp of the Jewish people surrounding it. A circle has two special characteristics: every point is exactly the same distance from the center, and there is only one center point. True unity with each other and with our prospective spouses is achieved only if each person is valued equally, and only if all share the same single focal point of ruchniyus.

The Gemara (Sota 2) tells us that 40 days before every child is born a voice proclaims in Heaven "bas ploni l'ploni", whom that child is destined to marry. The Bnei Yisaschar teaches that what is true for each chassan and kallah is true for klal yisrael as a whole. If we count back 40 days from 25 Elul, the start of creation, we arrive at T"U b'Av. On this day Hashem chose us as a "bride" and partner in Creation. In a sense, the unfolding of history, which eventually will culminate in Mashiach and the championing of Klal Yisrael, is the gradual revelation in the physical world of that initial Divine decree and mission. Perhaps this too is the message of the letter samech. Though we may think hardships we may endure collectively and individually are carrying us along a twisted path of life that will lead us far from our goals, in reality we are merely travelling a circle. In the end, that initial destiny of T"U B'Av will be returned to and revealed in all its glory.

We look foward each T"U B'Av to the fulfillment of that destiny, when Klal Yisrael will be revealed as the "kallah" and only true partner to Hashem's mission in Creation, when the tzaddikim will dance in their samech shaped circle, and we will witness a rebuilt Yerushalyim and Bais haMikdash. Though we may not be there yet, each chassan and kallah helps bring us a step closer to the our anticipated geulah, which is why it the song "Od yishama b'arei yehuda u'bechutzos Yerushalayim kol sason v'kol simcha, chol chassan vekol kallah" refers to the ultimate redemption in the context of a wedding.

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