Paying

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From the fall 2007 Money Matters column. See more Money Matters articles.

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Paying for it all: Paper or Plastic?

The question of paper or plastic needs serious consideration when planning a wedding. The question here is not one of environmental impact, but of financial impact. Should you pay what expenses you could with a credit card or with cash or check? Be on guard of vendors that try to coerce you into paying cash only. While some vendors may be reluctant to accept the credit card payment due to the 2% charge to the business, a pure cash transaction with no record of what has been paid and what is due is not to your benefit should something go awry. So paper is needed for the records in the form of explicit contracts and receipts. But with awareness of the pitfalls, you will probably want to use plastic for you payment to maximize benefits and protection.

Charging Hazards from the Outside and Inside

Using a credit card does involve some risks. Beware that wedding vendors, such as photographers, videographers, or even your catering hall that have your credit card information on file could apply charges for overtime and other fees without getting your okay on them. Some couples who give their credit cards to pay for deposits discover charges on their statements from the vendor who charged them for fees on top of what they had contracted for. To protect yourself from such an unpleasant surprise, make it clear that your signature is required for all credit card payments, and that they do not have license to charge your card for anything you did explicitly agree to.

But it is not the abuse of others that poses the main danger of credit card users, it is one’s own abuse. Don’t let the power of charging make you feel unconstrained by budget limits. You have to vigilant not to charge more on the card than you can afford to pay off in full when the bill arrives. If you fall into the habit of making only minimum payments, then you will begin falling into a pit of debt that will be very difficult to climb out of. And, at the end, you would have easily doubled your wedding expenses by paying out so much interest (often close to 20%) to the credit cards you charged. For example, you may have allocated $1500 for a wedding gown. Then you find one you love for $3000. It is a great temptation to charge the dress and take on that extra thousand dollar expense, as you can pay it off later. But then you are not just paying $100 more but the interest on the full amount charged, which can mount surprisingly high if not paid off promptly. So you must be disciplined enough to keep your charge amounts lower than your cash reserves.

Charging Benefits: From Perks to Protection

There are quite a few benefits to charging your expenses, which range from convenience of payment with a full record of charges neatly set up by your card’s statement to perks of airline miles, cash back or particular credits offered as incentives by credit cards. With all the thousands spent on the wedding, wouldn’t it be nice to at least get some airline tickets or cash back out of it? Even only 1% of the total amount is not a small amount of money. Now who gets the benefit of this perk should be decided in advance. If parents are shelling out the money on their own credit cards, they would be the ones benefiting unless they agree to give the young couple the money to pay the charges they would incur on their own cards.

But while perks and statement records are nice, they are not the main reason to put your wedding expenses on a charges card. It is that it puts the law on your side. What happens if an issue arises with an uncooperative vendor? Let’s say that you contracted with the orchestra for 5 pieces plus an additional singer, which is 6 men in all. Then you find that only 4 men show up. Your band should offer a partial refund for not delivering all that was ordered. But if you paid in cash or by a check that has been cashed already, your money is in the vendor’s pocket. In such a situation, you are completely reliant on the fairness and honesty or the vendor. You bank will not get your money back from a cashed check, but you can get your money back from your credit card company. After you submit your claim to your credit card company, it will investigate the matter. If it finds that the vendor was at fault, it can prevent payment to the vendor. Even if you’ve already covered the amount by paying your credit card bill, the amount can be refunded to you or credited toward you next payment.

Another example, the ivory silk dress you ordered with the specially built up neckline was not what you found waiting for you at the salon just 10 days before your wedding and that the correct can would only arrive after your wedding date. If you paid by check or cash, and the vendor refuses to refund your money, then you are out of luck. But if you paid with a credit card, you can do something about the situation. Federal Regulation C entitles consumers to refunds on merchandise that falls short of retailer’s representation. According to this law, if the consumer who made the purchase with a credit card had attempted in good faith to correct the problem with the merchant but has not succeeded in getting the problem resolved, the bill may not have to be paid. Do note that there are some restrictions to this protection.

Just remember that this does not translate into an automatic refund, as you will have to back your claim with the requited paperwork that spells out what your ordered and what the vendor’s contractual obligations consist of. So you must be sure to get all agreements in writing. Your own account of the vendor telling you that everything would be set by your date does not carry as much weight as the paper with the vendor signature that confirms it.

Get it all – in writing

Face it, your wedding purchases are not just like a weekly pickup at the grocery. They are major orders. You know what they say about oral contracts? They are not being worth the paper they are printed on. Yes, technically, they could be legally binding for some agreements, but there is little objective proof when one side claims one thing and the other remembers differently. So get it all spelled out with every t crossed and every i dotted on the contract. The contract should include the following information:

-List of merchandise ordered detailed as much as possible, down to any extra trim or alteration.

-List of services provided detailed as much as possible.

-Duration of service time, including times for set up and removal if applicable

-Clear delineation of overtime rates and at what point they are incurred

-Total amount due – including any applicable taxes – and schedules for payment with exact amounts identified. Watch out for extra service charges and rush fees that were not discussed being tacked on.

-Deadline for any changes.

-Clarification if substitutions are allowed at vendor discretion or if your prior okay is required in writing.

-Cancellation and refund policy. Do you lose your whole deposit even if you cancel 2 months before the wedding? How much is to be refunded at what stage?

-Contact information for both parties. If your vendor is rarely in the business address, be sure to get another phone contact or cell phone number. The same goes for your contact information in case the vendor needs to reach you at a critical time.

-Date and time of service. That could be your wedding date, but, obviously has to be earlier for invitations and such. You should also set the date at least 2 weeks earlier for any apparel.

-Watch out for fine print that obscures any of the above or that allows the vendor free hand with substitutions that will result in your paying silk and roses prices for polyester and carnations.

Keep the important papers together with plastic

Get your papers in order with a binder divided into the sections you need with three-hole-punched sealable plastic folders to hold your receipts, pictures, and swatches that correspond to each section. You could buy an “official” bridal organizer for about $50 or spend less than $15 at a store that carries school supplies. You could set up the binder as follows:

1. Budget allocation: Include how much is allocated for each expenditure and who is paying for what. If each side contributes a set sum to be used as needed, you can put the money in a checking account designated for your wedding expenses. If you use the checks from the designated account, you won’t get confused about how much you have spent altogether. Cross reference with a calendar, which you could set up on Outlook or on a paper calendar, to fill out a schedule of when deposits and further payments are due on each item. Track what bills have come in, from whom, and what has been paid. You will cross reference this in each item’s specific category below. An Excel spreadsheet works well, though it is a good idea to also have hard copies, particularly if some involved in the wedding bills are not comfortable using a computer program. In the American frum community, it is customary for the kallah’s side to pay for everything except FLOP(S) -- flowers, liquor, orchestra, photography, and, (sheitel). However, you may find that such a division proves inequitable when the number of guests is extremely uneven, or if the cost cutting measures all come on the chasson’s side, in a wedding with a one-man-band, no liquor and silk flowers from a gmach. Each situation must be assessed according to the unique circumstances of that wedding.

2. Guest list, including what you need printed and the cost of a monogram, if you choose to have one: You start off with a lift of guests with full addresses. Organize a list of who is to be invited to just the chuppah, or to another designated part of the wedding like a simchas chasson v’kallah or the smorgasbord, and who is to be included in the full dinner count. Figure out how many households (not individual guests) need to get invitations. Then add on another 25 or so for good measure and even more printed envelops, as it costs you far less to print them at once than to add them on as a separate job. Order your Thank you notes at the same time, so you’ll be able to start sending them out as gifts start to come in along with reply cards. Keep track of your invitation and mailing expense as part of your overall budget. If you hire a calligrapher or addressing service, add that expense in, too. Be sure to have your invitations weighed for correct postage at the post office. You don’t want to have your invitations returned to you due to insufficient postage, and send you back to the drawing board on addressing and stamping after a week’s delay.

3. Hall, Caterer, and Liquor: You may be dealing with one vendor for this if the site uses in-house catering, or two, if you pick a site and then select your own caterer. If there are two, you may wish to divide this section into two parts to be clear on your contracts, deposits, and terms with each one. The hall should be clear on which services and rooms are included in their packages. If you are scheduling your wedding for a Sunday or legal holiday, you should also find out if another wedding is book right before or after yours. This would affect how much time is available for setting up before the actual wedding and at what point you will be forced to wrap things up if another wedding is on the way. If you choose to serve liquor: decide if you want an open bar for the duration of the wedding or limits on times when drinks are available and the types to be served. As how liquor is served makes a difference, get the quote for various types of bar service. You folder should include sample menus for both the dinner and smorgasbord with various package prices offered by the caterer. You may also include color samples for linens. The hall should provide its terms of service and any restriction it may have that you should know about, like if certain decorations, such as lit candles or flower petals strewn on the carpet are forbidden. You must also ascertain if the hall has requirements such as minimum number of pieces for an orchestra, so you know what to ask of your band. From both, you must have clear terms of how long you are getting services for, at what point overtime rates kick in, and what overtime rates amount to. Bear in mind that tips are customary for services rendered in these categories, so that amount must be included in your budget total. Clarify if the gratuities are included in bill so that you do not double tip; you may note fine print to this effect, but ask just to be sure.

4. Wedding clothes: get your lists of recommended places for buying or renting dresses, headpieces, veils, and shoes, as well as sources for fabric, sewing, cleaning. If you have borrowing options from relatives, friends, or gmachs, write all that down, too. Keep notes of dresses you’ve tried that you are considering, including how much time it will take to get the dress ready and how much any changes will cost. Place pictures of designs you like, labeled with any pertinent information, as well your fabric swatches of gowns you have ordered or are considering with information about content and price into this the folder for this section. Whenever possible, get your price quotes in writing, and put them in the folder. Once you’ve settled on a dress, fabric, or seamstress, obtain a written contract and receipt if possible. Any deposit paid must clearly be indicated, along with the balance due, payment terms, and refund or cancellation policy.

5. Photography and video: These two may be offered by the same vendor, or you may choose one for the still photography and another for the videography. Just be sure that the two can get along agreeably enough not to add tension to your affair. Before you settle on anyone, get your recommendations, request to see further samples of the photographer’s work, including raw footage, as albums and edited videos feature only the best selections. There are myriad choices and price points for these service. So you have to decide on what you absolutely must have and what you can do without, or you will go over budget. The other way you could end up going over your budget is by underestimating how long the wedding pictures take. Watch out for contracts that give only a few hours of photography before overtime rates apply. You do not want to have to make the decision whether to allow to the cameramen to leave with a lot of time left to go for the wedding or to allow the overtime clock to start ticking during the wedding itself. Your folder should include your preferences for style, types of pictures, the type of album you envision for yourself and parents, expectations of editing, and questions to ask your photographer. Be aware that you can use the same photographer as someone else and end up with a completely different camera crew and editing team. Don’t forget to ask who the photographer’s subcontractors are and who does the editing.

6. Flowers: Gather lists with addresses and phone numbers of florists, floral decorators, centerpiece gmachs. You could end up using more than one source for your wedding flowers if you opt for silk centerpieces from a tzedaka organization and fresh personal flowers from a florist.. Be clear on prices, including delivery and setup fees from each provider. Make a checklist of all the flower arrangements you will need, including the estimated number of dinner table centerpieces. Don’t forget to include boutonnieres and corsages if your wedding party expects to wear them. Get written estimates for everything whenever possible and keep them in your folder. The same folder should hold pictures of styles you prefer for the flowers to be carried, worn, or arranged to decorate the kallah chair, tables, aisle, and chuppah. This folder would cross reference your gowns folder for swatches of fabric you want to match, as well as your catering folder with the color of your linen selection. More importantly, you should have copies of your contracts that specify type and number of floral decorations and bouquets, schedule for delivery, full cost – including sales tax – and a record of deposit paid and when the balance is due.

7. Music: There are many options from one-man-band to 12 piece orchestras plus singers. If the wedding is smaller and simpler, you can scale back on the musical expense, but it would look out of place to have only 3 musician at a lavish reception for 500 people. So in addition to listening to how well they sound, consider what is appropriate and affordable given your situation and budget. You can hire the same musical group that impressed you so much at a friend’s wedding. Just be aware that bands are made up of various players, so if you want a particular drummer, vocalist, etc. ask if the one you have in mind will be available on the date and time of your wedding. Your folder could include clips of songs you want for dancing and background music, as well as a specific lists of which melodies should be played at which point in the chuppah.

8. Beauty points: This includes your wedding makeup, hair coverings and hair styling appointments. Get clear price quotes and ask if there is a difference in price if the makeup and hair is done at the hall or at the salon. While the former is more convenient for the bride, it is generally far more expensive. If a number of people will have their hair and makeup done, ask about a discounted package. Talk to people for recommendations on where and what to buy for your first sheitel. There is a huge range of prices, so shop around, stick to a firm, budget and don’t go overboard in stocking up. Use your folder for business cards, price quotes, and pictures of wedding looks you like to show the makeup artist and hairstylist. Schedule a consultation a month or two before the wedding to discuss what you want and try out the look. For color representation, bring in something bigger than a typical swatch to shows the color of your dress against your face. For hairstyling, you should have your headpiece with you unless you hairstylist will be the one to rent or sell you the headpiece.

9. Ceremony and other. In the folder keep track of the following ceremony essentials: wedding ring (with metal, color, width, and size identified), the marriage license -- its fee and list of required documentation, and don’t forget the ketubah! This is also the catchall section for things like the fee or gift for the shadchan (if applicable), gifts for the chasson and kallah beyond the rings (like watches, cufflinks, pearls, etc.) gifts for those who host your sheva brachos or out of town guests, gift baskets for out of town guests, amount to be paid for kallah classes and chasson. For the chasson: a set of shas, tallis, atara, tallis bag, kittel. Customize this section according to your needs, for example, if yours is a long-distance relationship that will entail travel and lodging expenses.

So gather up all your papers, carry your plastic, and you’ll have your wedding expenses organized. That way if a question should arise about what you ordered or paid for, you just have to look in your binder and pull out the paper with the information on it. This could be a real lifesaver for you and a very useful reference for friends or family members making a wedding after yours.